Sunday, June 10, 2018

Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda

Do you ever find yourself slipping into a "what if" zone? I do this whenever I'm faced with a major life decision. I think of several scenarios attached to each choice. I would dig my way back into history if I ever learned from any of the loose ends. "What if I didn't leave?" "What if I accepted that job offer?" But since I can't take those moments back, I try not to let the fear of possibilities take over in my decisions.

"What ifs" usually have a negative connotation of living a life full of regrets. Sometimes you walk past an open door because you feed yourself with worries. You are then tormented by questions and begin to fret far more than you need to. I know everyone at some point has felt the pain of a missed opportunity. These are the "what ifs" that interrupt your rational thinking and inner peace. I used to be a creature of habit oftentimes taken aback by sudden changes. Nothing can ever pierce my self-protective bubble until I had to stop myself from constantly scanning for threats. I don't want to create a life around "what ifs" anymore. Instead of negativity throwing me off-course, I learned to function with it. Turn your questions into positive from "What if it goes wrong?" to "What if I enjoy it?"

I had a talk with a friend about how my views have changed. A part of me wanted to work in environmental field and to further improve my creative side. She remembered me considering a course in Agriculture back then. I wondered what I could have done differently in life if I took that path. I'm probably helping out farmers and fighting off climate change. Oh how I would love to do that right now! Don't get me wrong, my current job is not a regret. As I grow older, the more I want to tap into my life's purpose. It's always good to assess yourself if there's something else that you can do better. This "what if" moment made me realize that life is not a straight line. Every detour has a purpose, which adds more strength to ourselves. I was also reminded by my friend that it's never too late to do what you want. Rather than being complacent, I'm taking small steps toward my goals. It all begins with a choice. The way I see it, we can take actions on the basis of "what if"learn from it and move forward.


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